Book Review: My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell (Fiction) (2020) 4 Stars ****
Dark. Disturbing. Psychologically manipulative. Emotionally confusing. Morally vague. If you’re into this stuff, you’ll love this book. Personally, I was turned off but I forced myself out of my comfort zone to become a voyeur into the life, internal self-congratulations and outright lies of a psychological mess. I never enjoy being in the head of a crazy person—especially a young woman for whom I should have compassion and sympathy. Other than outright killers and abusers, I can easily say Vanessa Wye is my least favorite character of any book I have ever read. This girl is no child; she’s a predator. I’m going to try not to spoil the story by being too detailed with my comments and examples, in case you choose to read it. Very well-written, but disturbing.
We meet fifteen-year-old Vanessa as a newly transferred student at a private high school in Maine and follow her delusional manipulations until she is well into her thirties. Vanessa is attracted to her much, much older English teacher and pedophile Jacob Strane. They begin a flirtation that results in unfulfilling sex. Strane, as Vanessa calls him, is unattractive, pot-bellied, unkempt, and a master manipulator. He is intent upon freezing her image as childish and child-like, while Vanessa wants to be viewed as a desirable, mature, powerful vamp. While Vanessa brings sexy, black lingerie to one of their trysts, Strane forces her to wear white baby doll pajamas decorated with strawberries. He wants Vanessa to call him Daddy.
The older Vanessa gets, the less Strane is interested. There are numerous accusations and rumors floating around the school, the neighborhood, and the media, but Vanessa refuses to believe Strane could be attracted to anyone else. When given the chance to report him or just walk away, Vanessa believes she is in control. She believes she is so irresistible that it is her fault that he cannot keep away but instead, is magnetized in her direction because they are soul mates. “I think we’re very similar, Nessa,” he tells her, appropriating a family nickname he learned at a parent-teacher conference. “I can tell from the way you write that you’re a dark romantic like me. You like dark things.”
Vanessa keeps him in her adult life, refusing to confirm allegations of teenage girls of unwanted sexual advances. Never pursuing an adult relationship with Vanessa, Strane stays away from her with flimsy excuses that she does not believe, but tells herself that he fears her power over him. After all, she is the Lolita in his life. Vanessa does not date and has never been intimate with any boy or man other than Strane. She is in a stuck place. He continues to run his game.
In later years, Vanessa finds herself attracted to one of her college professors but her attempts at seduction are repelled. Vanessa has opened a can of worms and a view into her dark heart, her lies, her evasions, and her warped psyche.
In time, her taunts and manipulations add to an already precarious situation that ends in tragedy. She is seen for who she wants to be—a siren leading the ships to the rocks.
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I wish you all a life inspired by the wonder of the world around us. May you find and live your truth, in harmony with people, nature and the environment. May you be a force for good and a source of love and comfort. May the world be a better place for you having lived and loved here.
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Elaine Donadio Writes 