Stepping Into Your New Skin

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my blog!

Many of us will reinvent ourselves at different times in our lives. We might start with a belief system from our families, then evolve as we open our minds and hearts to new experiences. Some adjustments will be welcomed and planned. Some will be forced upon us as a result of inevitable changes or tragedies.  Education, work, job loss, marriage or committed relationships, children, retirement, divorce, death, financial upheavals, and natural disasters will bring us to different places in our lives. People change. Things change. We change. But, how do we evolve into the person our new circumstances demand of us?

Life may be status quo for the longest time. Nothing much happens. Just getting through the day, the week, the month, the year. We may perceive this as boring. Suddenly, our world is shattered. Life is no longer boring, but at what price?

Change is not inherently bad. It’s how we mobilize ourselves and react to the changes that propels us into the future. Change can be a positive result of the natural progression of life or a reward for working hard and smart. Maybe your change is the result of negative forces or tragedy. In any event, we leave things, people and a way of life behind.

Friends, family and co-workers may resent or fear this new you. They might feel the loss of the relationship you had, or transfer fears of the unknown. Maybe they’re uncomfortable with your strength and resolve. Usually, the person who moves on has the easier time since a sense of adventure, hope and new beginning looms large. For the others, the only thing that may have changed for them is dealing with the  missing piece of the puzzle – you – and filling the void where you used to be.

So, let’s get back to you as the adventurer in a new life. I just read an interesting article in the November/ December 2015 issue of New Living, “Releasing Anger and Bitterness From Divorce” by Krista Jack, MS. I realized her advice can be applied across the board and is not limited to people experiencing the fall-out from divorce. Reinventing ourselves  happens for different reasons, but the advice holds true for all.

Ms. Jack tells us:

  • “Be honest with yourself – Once you admit what you’re feeling, you’ve taken the first step towards healing
  • Take responsibility for how you react – When you get overwhelmed by the negative, get out appropriately. Take a walk, meditate, journal, talk to a therapist. If you don’t release these feelings, they will build up and eventually come out, often at inappropriate times or with the wrong people.
  • Realize the people on the other side are experiencing the same feelings as you.
  • Redefine yourself clearly – Who you want to be, what you want, what you enjoy
  • Take care of yourself – What can you do for little money and in short bursts
  • Make An Activity Box With Post-Its – Put ideas for simple soul-filling diversions on post-its and store in a special box, open the box when needed”

Life can be an adventure or a rut. It’s up to us to analyze, investigate, plan, establish goals, take action, evaluate and re-evaluate, remain steadfast. We can allow life to beat us down, or we can face it head-on, take hold and turn things around. No one said it would be easy.

The point is, we don’t have to end up in the same place we began. We don’t have to be a perpetual victim of our circumstances.

Let me know how you do. I’d love to hear from you.

Next week’s blog post: Hard Work Vs. Wishful Thinking

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