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Trustworthiness is the greatest gift we can give to those we love and those who love and depend on us on Valentine’s Day and every day. Flowers, chocolates and jewelry only go so far. Shaking up another person’s world while leaving disappointment in our wake, is not the way to go. If we treat people in our lives with the same casual abandon as we may treat a stranger on the street, then something is wrong. It has to matter that this person is in our life. We must allow them to “interfere” in our lives. Our decisions and actions must take them into account.
Once we openly commit, we must consider the welfare of others. If commitment is implied, then we must step up. There are many different types of relationships: marriage, romantic attachment, parent-child, child-parent, friendship, work related team effort, neighbor, doctor – patient, teacher-student, first responder-public, clergy-parishioner to name a few.
Love is not only for romance. It’s the respect, consideration, effort, help and care we give to another. It’s the confidence we instill in others that lets them know they can count on us. It’s letting people know they can reveal themselves without facing judgment, rancor or scoldings. It’s not exploiting people for our own ends. When those who count on us are left wondering if we will show up on time, keep our word, physically, emotionally and spiritually hurt them, remember important events and responsibilities, tell the truth, act irresponsibly by putting lives, finances and relationships in danger, this negates the power and purpose of love. Then, this is a betrayal. Love does not hurt.
When we love, we don’t leave the other person feeling insecure. To love is to support, build confidence and share oneself.
Are you trustworthy? Do you live by your word, or do those who depend on you roll their eyes and look elsewhere when things need to get done? Are you above suspicion or do you skulk around, squandering hard-earned money and seeking extra-marital affairs? Do you pull your weight at work, or wait for a team project on which to add your name while others do all the work? Are your children and elderly or needy relatives properly and lovingly clothed, fed and cared for? Do you reveal confidences and embarrassing secrets?
Commitment is not always easy. We must be present, willing and able.
If you live your life as a trustworthy person and people’s lives are enriched by knowing you, and by interacting with you, then feel proud and accept your positive impact on the world. Remember, one person, one experience at a time.
Happy Valentine’s Day! May you always have love in your life.
Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear from you.
Next week’s blog post: Stepping Into Your New Skin
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Elaine Donadio Writes 