How To Protect Yourself In Negative Situations

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my blog!

Last week’s blog post dealt with how advisors expand or limit our realities. Today, we’ll discuss how to identify a negative situation and how to put the brakes on BEFORE your head starts pounding as you either hyperventilate or hold your breath, then tense your muscles causing pain to radiate through your neck and shoulders to get ready to fight or take flight or suffer through it. Sound familiar?

Negativity can take many forms: scowls when he/ she looks at you, interrupts when you’re speaking, finishes your sentences, repeats the same inane point over and over, refuses to talk about anyone but himself/ herself, denigrates your accomplishments, dismisses your goals, teases when you’re being serious, looks bored when you attempt to share what’s going on in your life, spreads harmful gossip and unfairly criticizes, is too willing to bring up your shortcomings and delights in your disappointments.

How long is your list of perps?

Not only do we feel physically, mentally and spiritually uncomfortable in their presence, but we take it home. I believe we can best judge a person by how we feel when we’re no longer in their presence. Choose to be around people who send you home with a smile on your face. Feelings of sadness, guilt, frustration, anger, inadequacy have their place but should stem from legitimate personal issues, not from ego-deflators who stalk for victims.

I found some good advice in Alan Cohen’s article, “Choice Conversations” in the August/ September 2015 issue of Creations Magazine.

Mr. Cohen offers the following solutions:

* Diplomatically Change the Subject                                                                                                    * Reframe the Conversation With Kindness                                                                                     * Direct Truth – ‘I’m not really into talking about …, can we talk about something else?’           * ‘Withdrawal – leave the room

So, we see there are ways to handle these situations. Some attempts will be easier than others. We’re now equipped with a positive set of actions.

Still not convinced?  Read on. To paraphrase Mr. Cohen:

* We have a biological and a spiritual family.                                                                                   * You must take care of your spirit.                                                                                                      * Send love to those who are out of sync with you and know they’re capable of better.                                                                                                                                                        * No matter what others are choosing for themselves, you have the right, power and    responsibility to choose for yourself.                                                                                                   * People grow and change in different directions. No one is wrong You both have to be in your right place.                                                                                                                                         * Friendships, like marriages  and jobs, should only continue if everyone still wants to connect.                                                                                                                                                     * Trust that if you follow your spirit, you’ll be in the right place, and so will others.

Please keep this thought: If we accept that we are constantly changing, as our world around us also changes, then we must accept that what once worked for us, may not to be the answer now. Sometimes, we need to let go of what was meaningful to us in the past. This never demeans the importance of what was, it only teaches we must realize and accept that as we grow and evolve, our realities change and so will our choices.

Let me know what you think I’d love to hear from you.

Next week’s blog post: “Blessings Rather Than Curses?”

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